Sunday, September 16, 2007

What do you call a man who has oral sex with another man?

Dear HTT,

I've had this question forever. I'm a practicing hetero male in the Triangle. I'm wondering if a male receives oral sex from another male, does that make him gay? In light of the current revelations about the Senator from Idaho who claims he's not gay, but nonetheless has taken part in some less than straight illegal behavior, and who claims not to be gay, would I be gay, had I engaged in such behavior.

Keep up the good work,

Your fan in Triangle

Dear Zorro,

I don’t think that having oral sex with a man necessarily means that Sen. Craig, or anyone else for that matter, is gay. But he sure isn’t straight, either.

Labels are so limiting, aren’t they? I buy into Kinsey’s theory of sexuality. He said

Males [and he came to feel this way about women, too, eventually] do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual…The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.

While emphasizing the continuity of the gradations between exclusively heterosexual and exclusively homosexual histories, it has seemed desirable to develop some sort of classification which could be based on the relative amounts of heterosexual and homosexual experience or response in each history... An individual may be assigned a position on this scale, for each period in his life.... A seven-point scale comes nearer to showing the many gradations that actually exist.
  • 0--Exclusively heterosexual
  • 1--Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
  • 2--Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
  • 3--Equally heterosexual and homosexual
  • 4--Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
  • 5--Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
  • 6--Exclusively homosexual
  • X--Asexual
Notice that once this business came to light, Craig said, “I am not now, and never have been, gay.” O.K., right, but my guess is he’s not a zero, although I don’t know where exactly he falls on the scale. And I wouldn't care, either, if he weren't such a hypocrite.

I mean, please. He voted to deny gay men and lesbians the right to marry, claiming that the "sanctity of marriage" could be upheld only between a woman and a man, and all the while he's trying to cheat on his wife and hook up in a public bathroom? Yeesh.

Thanks for the question and for being such a loyal reader!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You know what irritates me most about the whole anti-gay marriage thing? These people say that they are "protecting the sanctity of marriage"---Gimme me a break! If our society really wanted to make the protection of "marriage" a priority, they'd start by slapping down some laws to prevent heterosexuals from dishonoring institution. For instance, people who divorce would be prevented from remarrying for a penalty period of maybe two years. People who flew to Vegas and married on a lark, only to dissolve the marriage a few weeks later, would be fined and prevented from marrying again for maybe five years. There would be a "three strikes you're out" policy on divorce--divorce three times and you can't marry again. People who habitually cheat on their spouses (like Sen. Craig--we're assuming his wife did not give her consent to this) would lose the right to marry. They'd probably also raise the minimum age at which someone could legally marry.

As far as I'm concerned, there are a lot of same-sex couples out there who set a better example for the respecting "sanctity of marriage" than many straight people.